did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
