we're blogging at a bar
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
two words: eviction party
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
