Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
