I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
