my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
they call him Oral-B. enough said
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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