im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
