dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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