Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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