"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
