So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
