I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
and she was petting her beer can
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
