He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
