doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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