like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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