Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
