I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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