my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
