so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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