Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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