Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
