It's just like the Real World with babies
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize