Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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