These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
