I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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