Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
