what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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