Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
