So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
