This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
