Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
