I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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