Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Randomize
