my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
