Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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