please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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