remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
