I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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