She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am full of burrito and curiosity
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
