went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
