Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
