I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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