Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
