Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
