He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
