I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
