and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
