dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
