But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
