Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
