...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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