I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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